


Say 'Yes'

by legolastariel



Series: Say 'Yes' trilogy [2]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: A little Rickyl fluff, Heart-to-Heart, M/M, NO Richonne
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-16
Updated: 2017-03-16
Packaged: 2018-10-06 03:24:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10324538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/legolastariel/pseuds/legolastariel
Summary: It'snotbased on 7x12. I was just inspired by the title.Rick follows Daryl to the Hilltop after not finding him in the Kingdom. It's pretty much about the characters mentioned in the tags and various reasons for them to say 'Yes'.And Daryl is having that talk with Maggie, that should be there on screen and is probably not.It's a sequel to "No statute of limitation" and it's advisable to read that one first. The story here takes place the following day and this time there's no threat for your fingernails LoL - it's much lighter. No Negan. No Saviors.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [No statute of limitation](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10102121) by [legolastariel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/legolastariel/pseuds/legolastariel). 



> Thanks again to my wonderful beta stylepoints, who worked on this despite lots of work and having to deal with snow storms and power failures. :-)

**_ Say  _ ** **_ ‘Yes’ _ **

 

Rick stared out onto the street, clutching the steering wheel in an iron grasp as he drove.   
He didn’t really see the gray, cracked pavement that was partially overgrown and littered with leaves and ages old trash the wind had blown this way. The occasional dead and decaying bodies along the road side, as well as the walkers in the woods to either side didn’t even register anymore. 

This day had actually started with him smiling. He couldn’t even remember when he had truly felt like smiling, but when the sun had come up that morning and had shone into this face, Rick’s heart had made a leap of joy and anticipation and had him wide awake and feeling … _happy_ instantly on opening his eyes. Today he was going to see Daryl again.   
Daryl. He’d been a fool not to realize a long time ago that his heart skipped a beat whenever he looked into the archer’s unique blue eyes, that the deep voice sounded like music to his ears and strummed the strings of his soul, that he felt alone whenever Daryl wasn’t with him and the world appeared to be a darker place without his friend.   
Boyfriend? Lover? Partner? Lost in thought Rick shrugged as he tried to come up with a proper term for what Daryl was to him now. Did it matter? Daryl was his _everything_ , so all of these _labels_ applied. 

Had it really only been two nights ago that they had made the transition from friends to lovers? Had that really been the first time they had been this close, that their bodies had melted into one, hearts and souls in perfect sync?   
Rick felt as though it had always been that way. It should have. And after sleeping peacefully and content with this wonderful man in his arms, the previous night had felt twice as dark, twice as cold, twice as lonely. He had no idea he could miss anyone as achingly as he missed Daryl now.

So waking up to a new day with the prospect of seeing the archer again and having good news to tell him, had driven Rick out of bed with a wide grin on his face. Despite the Saviors, despite all worries and problems and a war on their hands, life was good. 

Five minutes after arriving at the Kingdom the smile had been gone.

It hadn’t faltered that morning when he had confronted his family with the decision to head to the Kingdom _again,_ although the raised eyebrows and lines of worry, of _protest,_ hadn’t escaped him. He had even still been smiling when Rosita had openly spoken against the idea, because _they had to find weapons and more people to finally_ do _something about the Saviors and the Kingdom was just a waste of time_. He had smiled even wider when Tara and Michonne had simultaneously told her _to shut up and stop bitching already._

 

What _had_ wiped the smile off his face in the end was arriving at the Kingdom and finding Morgan waiting for him instead of Daryl.

         “He’s gone.” 

That was all Morgan had said in greeting, standing motionless in the middle of the street right behind the gate, a grave expression on his face.  
When he had watched Rick grow as pale as a sheet and gasp with plain shock on his face he had quickly added:

         “Oh, no, let me rephrase that – he left, is headed for the Hilltop. He’s alright.”

         “Dear God, Morgan!” Casting the other man a scowl, Rick had pressed a hand to his chest for a moment to check if his heart was beating again. 

It took a moment till the black man’s words had even registered.

         “Hilltop?” he had muttered confused, before his eyes widened about two sizes. “Hilltop!? You mean he’s out there all by himself, unarmed …”

         “He’s got a crossbow”, Richard’s voice had cut in while Ezekiel’s right-hand man had walked up to them from a nearby building. 

Even the revelation that Daryl had his favorite weapon on him hadn’t been able to ease Rick’s worries. 

         “Doesn’t change the fact that he’s out there alone, although the Saviors are on a man hunt. He would have been safe here for the time being, so what the heck happened?” 

Richard had taken great interest in the tip of his shoes for a moment before he said:

         “Him and I, we had a little … disagreement.” 

Out of the corners of his eyes Rick had noticed Morgan cast the Kingdom fighter a surprised glance that clearly carried the question: _You, too?_

         “A _disagreement_ about what?”

         “I had a plan. A plan that may have convinced Ezekiel to finally say ‘Yes’ about joining the war. It would have worked, too.” He looked up and shrugged. “I asked Daryl to gimme a hand, but he … didn’t quite agree to it.”

Rick’s eyes had narrowed as he pointed to Richard’s split lip.  
          
         “Was that his answer to your plan?”

The other man had nodded wordlessly.

         “Did you hit him back?” Rick’s eyes had turned cold as ice.

Surprised Morgan and Richard had exchanged a glance. Apparently the plan itself wasn’t nearly as important to the leader than whether or not his friend might have been hit. After all everybody had been through since the outbreak, was that really important? It surely hadn’t been the first time and wouldn’t be the last, either.

         “No. I got why he was angry and maybe he was even right, but … I hadda try. Had to _do_ something.”

         “Let’s hear it – what _is_ the plan?” 

Hesitatingly Richard had looked into the other man’s azure blue eyes before he had started to repeat what he explained to Daryl the previous day. The eyes of both Rick and Morgan had grown larger while he spoke and when he concluded his monolog it was deadly silent between them.

         “Now, I’m aware of the fact that you all know Carol and that …”

A fist socking him on the jaw had cut him off and stumble backwards.

         “Sonuvabitch”, Rick had growled at him while he held his aching hand. 

         “Rick”, Morgan had tried to soothe him, but was at the receiving end of another killer scowl instantly.

         “Stay out of this!”   
Rick had turned back to Richard.   
“Carol has been one of our group, a part of our family for years and Daryl cares a great deal for her. But even if she’d been a complete stranger, nothing, nothing at all would justify feeding an innocent person to the sharks to have Ezekiel change his mind. We are fighting the Saviors because they are ruthless scum and we will not sink that low ourselves to start the war at any cost. Stay away from Carol or I swear I’ll …”

         “Yeah, yeah”, Richard had rubbed his aching chin and cut Rick off with a dismissive gesture, “I’ve heard it already. She so much as catches a cold Daryl threatened to kill me, so save your breath Rick.”

This had a smile tug on the corners of Rick’s lips for a split second before his eyes crossed over to Morgan.

         “Got something you wanna tell me?”

The black man lifted his hands defensively.

         “You know me, Rick. I said it before and I will say it again – all life is precious. I didn’t know about that plan and would never have agreed to anything like that.”

         “No shit”, Richard cut in, while he gave a derisive snort. “That’s exactly why I told Daryl and not you. The plan may have sucked, but he was with me when I needed someone to finally _do_ something. The problem isn’t gonna solve itself – it’s gonna get worse. Neither preaching, nor swinging a stick is gonna stop them when they decide that a simple delivery was good, but taking _all_ we have was even better. This so called _peace_ is a farce and we are just pawns, subjected to Negan’s unpredictable mood swings. Hell, if he’s having a bad hair day or last night’s lay sucked, he’s gonna take it out on us, kill a few people, take whatever he wants to make him feel better. You know that! You know what kind of bastard he is, what they all are, what they do – you’ve _seen_ it. Yet you rather sit still and hold on to some stupid doctrine that just doesn’t fit the times. And you will probably refuse to acknowledge that till it’s _your_ life they are about to take. Think it’ll impress them if you preach the ‘all life is precious’ shit to them? Think that’s gonna safe your neck?”  
He made a sweaping gesture around himself.  
         “All these lives here, are they not worth saving, Morgan? Or the ones at Alexandria, the Hilltop, in _all_ the communities? We are not the ones who started this. We are not the ones taking lives by random. That’s them. And you just let them. Same as Ezekiel.”

That said he had stomped off with furious strides, not looking back until he had disappeared into the house he emerged from before. 

         “He’s got a point and you know it”, Rick said, before he had pointed after Richard and added: “So, is that what happened with Daryl, too? He pleaded with you, asked you to help convince Ezekiel and you held your speech?”

         “I’m afraid so. What you don’t understand, you and Daryl and Richard, is that there isn’t just black and white, but lots of different shades of grey. What they are having here _is_ a way of peace – these people can live within their walls unbothered, they’ve got food and shelter, nobody died here for a long time. All that comes at a price, yes, but it is worth paying. Starting a war against the Saviors would cost so much more. 

         “But it would be a price to be paid _once_ and after that it’d be over. With the way it’s now the paying never stops. And the rules of the game may change at any given time and it won’t be Ezekiel or his people deciding whether they do or not – that’ll be them. Whatever the hell you think you’re still holding onto, Morgan, it’s long gone. So wake up already.”

Morgan’s mouth gaped open when Rick repeated Daryl’s words from last night to him almost word for word. Before he could give this amazing coincidence – or the way these two men seemed to think alike – a second thought, Rick had added:

         “I’ve got a son and a little daughter back home and I want them to live. Free, not in slavery. If Duane and your wife were here, would you still think _this_ was the best way?”

The black man’s face had become a stony façade when Rick dared mention Morgan’s dead family, but he had answered the question despite Rick clearly overstepping the mark.

         “Have them live here? Protected by walls and a gate, with food, medicine, doctors, able to live a somewhat normal life despite the apocalypse? You bet I would.”

         “It wouldn’t change the fact that they’d be Negan’s _property_ , living under his thumb, living only as long as he _lets_ them. This …” he had made a sweaping gesture around him, “is an illusion and it’s not gonna last. And when the _peace_ ends, when _they_ end it, everyone here will be oblivious, unprepared, helpless.   
These people, they are a herd of cattle, grazing, providing, thinking it’s gonna continue like that – till they are led to the slaughter. Shooting a few arrows now and then isn’t making them soldiers, especially if they don’t even know they are at war. Most of them have probably never put down a walker, let alone kill someone. And when the Saviors turn against them, it’s gonna be a massacre, not a fair fight.”

         “I don’t see that happening.”

         “Hell, I sure hope we will never see that happening, but I won’t sit still and wait whether or not it’s gonna go down like that. Because if it does, you and Ezekiel and everyone else who _knew_ and still did nothing are gonna have the blood of these people on your hands. If your family was here, would you still be such an ignorant coward and wait till they come to take everyone and everything you love away from you?”

With a furious snort Rick had turned on his heels and stomped towards the gate.

         “I get why Daryl left this place”, he had called over his shoulder, before the sentry had first opened the gate for him and then shut it behind him a moment later.  

 

As he was driving towards the Hilltop now, Rick’s jaw muscles were still clenched in anger and had started to hurt several miles ago, but he didn’t even notice.   
How could people so smart be so stupid? How could they see the threat, the danger right in front of them and choose to just close their eyes in a childlike manner instead of taking care of the source of the problem? How could anyone live in slavery and tell everyone, including themselves, that they liked it that way? Fighting a system was a risk, sure. Would there be casulties? No doubt. But wasn’t it worth taking that risk to fight for their freedom, for a life worth living, instead of laying low and dying a little more each day for the rest of their lives?

When the Hilltop came into sight Rick let out a sigh of relief and his mood instantly took a turn for the better.   
He was gonna see Daryl again and the mere thought made him tingly with anticipation. Up until this moment Rick hadn’t even allowed the possibility that his partner was _not_ in the Hilltop. He could still be out there. Maybe it had taken him longer to walk the distance between the two communities than it took Rick to drive from Alexandria to the Kingdom, give Richard and Morgan a good dressing-down and then come here. Maybe he was hunting, testing his new crossbow. Maybe he had changed his mind and was headed to Alexandria after all, because he was missing him just as much as Rick missed Daryl and he was willing to take the risk …  
Rick swallowed thickly.  
Maybe he _had_ taken the risk. Were the Saviors still in the area of Alexandria? Did he run into to a trap? Did they catch him?  
Rick’s imagination was running wild and he honked the horn harder than necessary the moment the car stopped in front of the gate. No, he was here, he was here, he was here. Safe and sound. 

The second he had parked the car and was getting out, Sasha hurried towards him with a wide smile on her face. Before she could even open her mouth to say something, he beat her to it.

         “Is Daryl here?”

Her smile widened. 

         “Yes, he is. Relax, Rick.”

She saw how he let out his breath in a relieved sigh and couldn’t help the warm feeling that spread through her body. It always did when she watched those two around each other. Their friendship, this incredible bond between them was heartwarming and time and again she couldn’t help regretting that Rick was apparently straight. With the chemistry those two had, they would have been the perfect match.

         “Where is he?” 

         “The second trailer over there, next to the house.” 

Instantly he started walking in that direction with large steps, so she hurried to catch up with him and placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him. 

         “I wouldn’t go in there now.”

He cast her a surprised frown.

         “Why not?”

         “He’s talking to Maggie.” She saw the reaction in his eyes and nodded softly. “I think they need that talk. He does.” 

The lump in Rick’s throat was almost choking him and he dipped his head, shuffling his feet for a moment before he said:

         “Is she blaming him? Or me?”

Sasha bent a little and cocked her head so she’d be able to look him in the eyes.

         “No. No to both questions.”

         “Are you?”

         “I hate having to say ‘No’ to people”, she teased mildly, “but …”

         “In this case I’d rather you did.”

Her smile widened.

         “You’re the boss.”

He lifted his head.  
          
         “Not around here.” 

         “True. Around here it’s Maggie. And Jesus.” She laughed when she saw Rick’s eyebrows rise to his hairline.  
         “Seriously”, she whispered conspiratorially. “Gregory is just in there to keep that chair warm, but other than that I totally agree with Daryl – we don’t need him. The guy’s a jackass and lots of peeps in this town think it is time for a change of leadership. 

         “Glad to hear that.” A smile spread over Rick’s face. “So Maggie’s the person to talk to here, huh?”

         “And Jesus.”

Rick’s smile turned into a grin.

         “Daryl is gonna love to hear that. Once in a while I think he still regrets not having put that guy up a tree.” 

Sasha started giggling while a curious frown spread over her face.

         “What? What’s that supposed to mean?”

         “Long story.” 

         “Well, I have plenty of time.” She pointed to the Barrington House. “Care for something to eat or some tea? Coffee?”

         “I’m good.”

         “None of my business, but you might regret that decision. Pretty soon we’re gonna run out of coffee and after that it’s nothing but elderberry and camomilla tea.”  
She pulled a face.  
         “Better say ‘Yes’ to that coffee. May be now or never.” 

He started laughing.

         “Persuaded.”

Together they headed over to the Barrington House and on passing it, Rick cast a glance to the second trailer. His smile slowly vanished.  
He knew what that conversation would be about. Knew how hard it must be for Daryl to even look Maggie in the eyes, let alone lay his soul bare the way he was about to do.    
Rick would have liked to go in there for just a moment now to give Daryl a hug and let him know he was here. But the archer was more than capable of fighting his own battles – and his demons. He didn’t need him right now. All Daryl needed was Maggie’s forgiveness, so one of the deepest wounds on his vulnerable soul could start healing. Rick just hoped to God that Sasha was right about Maggie not blaming Daryl. Himself the leader didn’t care about, he could take another blow. He just wasn’t sure more guilt, more _death_ on Daryl’s conscience wasn’t going to bring the archer to his knees permanently. 

 

Inside the trailer Daryl watched silently as Maggie stood with her back to him and waited for the water in the electric kettle to boil. She was preparing them tea. He hated tea, but it bought him time to think of something to say and it bought her time to brace herself. This wasn’t going to be an easy conversation for either one, but they knew they had to have it so they could both move on. 

When the silence started to be awkward the young woman looked over her shoulder and cast Daryl a glance, not surprised to see him squirming and nervously fiddling with his fingers. Apparently his nerves were strung like a string on his crossbow. 

         “Sit down”, she said gently, but instead of complying he froze and his eyes darted to the door. 

She sighed. Was he looking for a way to run in case the conversation got unbearable? Did this trailer perhaps evoke bad memories? Either way – he looked flustered, no, scared and her heart went out to him. 

         “Daryl, please, just sit down.”

The water boiled and the kettle shut itself off with a soft ‘click’. Maggie focussed on her task to make tea again and when she turned back around a moment later, two steaming mugs in her hands, she was relieved to find Daryl seated in one of the chairs at the table. The one closest to the door, but at least he wasn’t standing in the middle of the room anymore, looking a picture of misery. 

Gently she pushed one of the mugs over the table top in his direction and cast him a smile. 

The traces of his time in the Sanctuary were still visable. There were dark smudges under his eyes from way too little sleep, a healing crack in his lower lip and she thought she could see fading shadows of bruises and scratches on his arms and his neck. She didn’t dare imagine what the rest of his body looked like and what exactly he had to go through to obtain these injuries.  
It made her furious. Daryl was a gentle soul and had been through way too much all of his life. He’d gotten enough beatings in his childhood to last for a lifetime and while the bruises would be gone soon, she could merely guess what damage the time in the Sanctuary had caused on his soul. 

         “Thanks”, he breathed almost inaudibly while accepting the tea. He didn’t make a move to drink it though, just stared into it for a moment. Then he said:  
         “Is the li’l pancake alright?” 

She nodded with the ghost of a smile.

         “Yes. Li’l Pancake is alright.” No doubt her baby would share Judith’s fate of growing up with one of Daryl’s unique petnames.    
         “I’m alright, too”, she added softly, anticipating his next question. 

Still staring into his tea he gave a curt nod.

         “Good.”

Maggie suppressed a sigh.  This wasn’t going to be easy. Daryl wasn’t a man of words under normal circumstances and this just now almost made him speechless, while there were probably things inside of him screaming to be said.

         “They good to ya here?” he picked up hesitatingly.

         “Yes. Yes, they are. Gregory’s a dick, but I can handle him. It’s nothing personal. You know him – he’s _always_ a dick.” She smiled. “Harlan’s taking good care of me and Li’l Pancake and I’ve got Sasha and Enid. And Jesus is an immense support, too. – I’m glad you didn’t put him up a tree”, she teased. 

He looked up for a second, an amused sparkle in his eyes for just that short moment, but it faded way too quickly.

         “Rick told ya?” 

She nodded. It appeared as though he was about to say something else and she would have loved to hear him just tell her about the incident back then, about the plan to put Jesus up a tree. It sounded funny enough to her to be worth sharing and that story may have been able to ease the tension, loosen Daryl’s tongue and help him to speak about the one thing that was clearly on his mind.   
But instead of opening up she saw his jaw muscles clench as he fought for words. Jesus was already gone from his mind. All he could think of was what he came here to say, but for the life of him he didn’t know how. 

She decided to toss him a lifeline.

         “What happened that night …”, she picked up and watched him flinch as though she had slapped him. 

He clutched his mug so tightly now that his knuckles had turned white. Slowly she reached out a hand and places it gently on his wrist, relieved that he let her and didn’t pull away. 

         “What happened that night”, she repeated, “I want you to know that I’m not blaming you. We all aren’t.” 

         “Blamin’ maself”, he said without looking up. “I keep makin’ the wrong decisions and people die ‘cause a’ me.”

         “No, they die because of those bastards out there. I know you’re thinking of Beth and Glenn and Denise, but _you_ didn’t kill either one. You loved them. You were a friend. You were trying to protect them. That’s what _you_ did and none of that requires forgiveness. Right?”

He didn’t reply, just sat totally unmoving.

         “Right?” she repeated and put more emphasis on the word.

Finally he gave a hesitating nod.

         “Right”, she said with a smile.

He sighed and chewed on his lower lip for a moment, which had the old wound there crack and start bleeding again. The coppery taste of blood brought back the memories of Glenn’s deaths twice as vivid and Maggie watched him swallow thickly several times as he was fighting back tears.

         “He wouldn’t ‘a been out there at all, if I hadn’t gone after the sonuvabitch who killed Denise. He asked me … _begged_ me ta stop ‘n’ come home with ‘im, ‘chonne and Rosita, but I wouldn’t.”

         “Did you find him?”

A questioning frown flashed over his face, so she added:

         “The _sonuvabitch who killed Denise_. Did you find him?”

         “Nah, he found me. Shot me, too.”

         “So, going after him made matters worse, didn’t it? I get why you did it, but each time either of us does their own thing, thinking it doesn’t concern the others, it always goes wrong, it backfires and more people get hurt. Remember what Glenn said: _We can make it together, but we can_ only _make it together._ ”

A single tear ran down Daryl’s cheek all of a sudden and he croaked:

         “’s what I ‘s sayin' – you and yer baby, yer alone now, without him, ‘cause a' me.”

         “We are not alone. You, Rick, the entire group, you are our family. I thought you knew that. What you did back there – that was stepping in for Rosita to make Negan stop. This wasn’t about anger or ego, this was you protecting your family and Glenn knew that.”

         “Shoulda been me”, Daryl said barely audible.

         “No, shouldn’t have been _anyone._ The pain’s the same, no matter who we lose. You’re not my husband, but I still love you, Daryl. You think I’d be happy now, if Glenn was here and we had to watch you getting killed? Maybe it would have ended with Abraham, if you hadn’t interfered, and maybe not. Negan’s a maniac and he keeps killing people no matter what we do. So he needs to be stopped. We need to do something about him and Glenn knew that. He saw you take the first step, show defiance, let Negan know that it won’t be easy to have us give in and he died knowing that you’d be there to fight for our family, for me and the baby, for the _good_ people that are still in this world. He wouldn’t want to see you give in now.”

         “I ain’t. Just wish I could turn back time and …”

         “But you can’t. What happened, happened. And who knows, if you hadn’t moved and Rosita had kept refusing to look at Lucille, it may have been her. There’s no way of knowing, but we’ll make sure he doesn’t do it again.” 

She saw him pull in a deep breath and holding it for a moment, while he was trying to process what she had told him. He wasn’t dumb. Maggie was well aware of the fact that he understood what she was saying and that it all made sense to him, but convincing someone’s mind in most cases was way easier than convincing their heart. 

         “Daryl, if there _was_ anything to forgive, I would. I really would. So, if you need to hear it – I forgive you and so would Glenn. But you need to forgive yourself, too, or this guilt is gonna destroy you. Glenn wouldn’t want that. And neither do I. – We need you.”

She moved her hand from his wrist to his hand and gave it a hearty squeeze, while a smile crept onto her face. 

         “Not just for fighting, you know”, she added with a teasing sparkle in her eyes.

Daryl lifted his eyes and cast her a suspicious look.

         “What’s that supposed ta mean?”

         “Just that I think you’re too easily accepting all the bad stuff that is happening to you, because the way your life used to be you think you deserve no better. But you’re wrong. I know your heart, Daryl, and … I hear things from Sasha … “ Maggie’s smile widened. 

         “What _things_?” he growled, making her giggle. 

         “Let’s just say she’s a good observer and I’ve got the feeling Rick may be showing up here soonish.”

She saw a reaction in his eyes and he sat back in his chair, pulling his hand away from her and crossing his arms before his chest instead.

         “Good observer, huh? What’s the matter with ya girls? Since day one Carol’s been snoopin’ in ma business and hoverin’ over me like a mother hen, then Beth was all over me, Denise force fed me with her damn oak cakes and now you and Sasha are _observin’ things._ What’s the story?”

She raised her hands defensively, still smiling.

         “All I’m saying is that there’s something _good_ threatening to head your way and I don’t want you to run away from it because you think you don’t deserve it. You do! Accepted it and hold on with both hands. We’d be happy for you, Daryl.”

His arms fell back to his sides and the head was dipped once again.

         “Had no clue it was so obvious. Didn’t want anyone ta know yet, especially you and Sasha.” 

         “Why?”

         “’cause it ain’t fair. Ya both just lost someone and …”

         “Oh, shut up, Dixon!” Her inflection was genuinely angry now and he looked up totally taken aback.   
         “This is about the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Is there a rule that you can only be happy as long as everybody else is, because Goddamnit we would be in trouble then. What about the times I was happy with Glenn and Sasha with Abe and Bob before that? Was that unfair, because you had no one? Was it unfair that Tyrees and Karen were happy and Beth dated Zac when Rick had just lost Lori? It’s your turn now, Daryl! And Rick’s. And I don’t ever wanna hear you doubting that you deserve it, you hear me?” 

He looked at her stunned for a moment.

         “Yes, ma’am”, he slipped and instantly Maggie’s anger evaporaded as she broke out laughing. 

         “Did you just call me _ma’am_?”

The archer just shrugged, still staring at her as though she had just grown a second head and she could barely refrain from sighing. He was a tough nut to crack. 

         “Would you do me a favor?” she ask gently and watched his eyes lit up instantly.

         “Sure. Anything.”

         “Can you forgive yourself, Daryl? I really need you to do this. Put all that guilt behind you and start over. Can you do that for me?”

She waited for a moment and watched how his lips became a thin line while his fingers resumed their nervous fumbling.

         “I want you to understand”, Maggie said calmly, “that I’m not gonna let you go until I hear it. So unless you wanna be stuck here with me and that elderberry tea, better spit it out.” 

For the first time since this conversation started she saw the tension on his face dissolve and the ghost of smile play around his lips. 

         “That’s blackmail.”  
          
         “No, that’s persuasion.”

There was a genuine smile on his face now.

         “Yer gonna be one helluva leader.” His hand made a sweeping gesture to the town outside the door. “’s this how ya gonna _persuade_ ‘em people out there, too? By threatenin’ torture?”

Maggie started laughing.  
          
         “Whatever it takes.” Then her smile slowly died down until only a gentle air remained on her pretty face. She looked the archer firmly in the eyes.   
         “Daryl, please, we’ve all lost enough. We cannot lose you to guilt about something that wasn’t your fault. At least _try_ to forgive yourself? Can you do that?”

His inner battle was almost palpable.   
          
         “Come on, say ‘Yes’”, she coaxed as though she was talking to a little boy who refused to eat his broccoli. 

Another incredibly long moment past in which he just sat motionless in front of her and looked her in the eyes. Then he slowly nodded once and said: “Yeah.” 

Her smile widened instantly and she stood, holding both of her hands out to him. When he reached for them she pulled him to his feet and in the same motion wrapped her arms around his middle to give him a hug. 

         “Good answer”, she said softly. 

The next moment she breathed a feathery kiss on his cheek and said: “That’s from Li’l Pancake.” Then she repeated it on his other cheek going: “And that one’s from me.”

Before she could even move a third time he took a step back and looked at her with a frown. 

         “Woah, no way yer gonna gimme a kiss from Glenn now. I get it, Maggie.”

She couldn’t help laughing, before she lifted her arm and held her fist out to him.

         “Yer kidding me, right? Brofist? Ya been around Tara too often lately?”

         “That’s from Glenn”, she said while she swallowed against a lump in her throat. 

Pressing his lips together he looked at the fist for a moment, then he touched his own against it and held it there for longer than necessary. 

         “Miss ya, man.”

That said he turned on his heels and left the trailer quickly before Maggie saw his tears. 

 

Sitting indian style in the shadow of a nearby tree, Rick took another sip from the mug of coffe in his hand while he kept his eyes firmly on the second trailer from the house. He hadn’t left it out of sight for a second ever since he had taken up post here.   
The coffee Sasha had offered him was delicious and a rare treat these days, fact, but he hadn’t had the patience to sit in the kitchen with her and tell her the story about how Jesus had almost ended up a tree.   
Out of politeness he had taken a seat while she had sipped her own coffee, looking at him expectantly, but he hadn’t been able to concentrate on what he was saying. Every other sentence he had trailed off while his eyes kept darting over to the door and not only five minutes after they had sat down, Sasha had placed her mug on the table and said:

         “Damn, I forgot I’ve got … er, laundry duty, right, laundry duty. Gotta go. But I’d like to hear that story some other time, if you don’t mind.”

He had looked at her with wide eyes, a clearly suspious air on his face. Laundry duty? _Urgent_ laundry duty? Rick couldn’t help thinking that he’d love to see the day when the Saviors would have the need for _urgent_ laundry duty – the day they’d all be pissing their pants. 

         “You know”, Sasha’s voice had ended that train of thought, “it’s a beautiful day. Why don’t you take your coffee outside?” 

She had winked at him and with a casual “See you later” had headed out the door.   
It had taken all of his willpower to not _run_ through the Barrington House and back out onto the square to take up his post within sight of the trailer. 

Daryl and Maggie’s conversation lasted longer than Rick had expected and he wasn’t sure if that was good or bad. But knowing Daryl, _conversation_ may have been a very optimistic term for what was going on in there anyhow. The archer wasn’t a man who would easily spill his guts and it might have taken some croaxing on Maggie’s side and lots of patience to even have him say what he came to say.   
Rick’s heart went out to his partner. This must have been Daryl’s personal walk to Canossa, probably the hardest one-to-one he ever had to do.    
          
When the door to the trailer opened and the archer stepped outside, Rick was on his feet in a jiffy, mindlessly leaving what may very well have been the last coffee of his life.   
He watched as Daryl stood motionless in front of the door for a moment, squinting against the sun that shone in his face and blinking rapidly.   
The way his chest was heaving while he ran the back of his hand over his eyes almost stubbornly was clear indication that the brightness of this sunny day wasn’t the reason for his tears. Cursing under his breath Rick approached him with large strides.

Daryl breathed in deep a few times in order to compose himself and calm his frantically beating heart.   
This had gone way better than he had hoped, but it didn’t change the fact that it had been one of the most difficult conversations he ever had, ever _had_ to have. It was a relief to know that Maggie didn’t blame him, that nobody was blaming him except himself. Yet it didn’t make things easier, didn’t change the fact that Glenn was gone.   
Daryl sighed.  
To forgive himself may have been something he was unable to do. But then, he never promised to – he promised to _try_ and he would keep that promise. No guarantees.   
Someone emerging from the shadow of a nearby tree and approaching him drew his attention and in mere seconds the archer’s heart skipped a beat. The sun was still blinding him and the person approaching was a mere silhoutte, but even without being able to make out the face he would have recognized that walk and those adorable bowlegs among thousands.   
He started walking and met Rick halfway, so that a moment later they were standing in front of each other the way they had only two days ago. It felt like an odd kind of déjà-vu to both of them.   
For the length of a few heartbeats they just looked each other in the eyes, then simultaneously they reach out and wordlessly pulled the other into a tight hug. It was quiet while countless thoughts and emotions bounced back and forth between them that they did not need any words for. 

Finally Rick whispered to his partner:

         “I’m glad you’re here. I was worried. Was over at the Kingdom, but …”

         “Yeah, sorry ‘bout that, man.” Daryl pulled back to look Rick in the eyes again. “Know I said I ‘s gonna stay in the Kingdom, but … damn, Rick, that place is Lalaland. They ain’t got no fucking clue what we’re dealin’ with or they don’t give a damn.”

         “Probably both. Why did you come here?” 

         “’cause these peeps here, they wanna fight, they’re on our side. They just need a li’l help, some training, so I thought I ‘s more helpful here than at the Kingdom.”

Rick nodded with a thoughtful air on his face while Daryl added:

         “Watched ‘em shoot a couple a’ arrows over at the Kingdom … Richard’s tryin’ ta get the hang of a bow, too, but ‘s more likely for lightnin’ ta strike twice than ‘im hittin’ anything smaller than a barn, man. No sense in trainin’ people that got their heads either in the sand or up in ‘em damn clouds.”

Breathing in deep, Rick placed his hand on the archer’s shoulder, giving a gentle squeeze before his fingers secretly started playing with one of Daryl’s long strands of hair. 

         “You’re right. I agree, honestly, but …”

         “Why’s there always a ‘but’, Rick?”

         “Because the situation is still the same – the Saviors are after you and the Kingdom was the safest place for you.”

         “If ya wanna drive me insane, yeah, it sure is the safest place. Been over this a gazillion times before, Rick, and I get it – yer worried. Hell, I’m too, but I can’t just sit there and wait. I know the Hilltop ain’t safe, but I ain’t gonna stay here long. ‘m gonna keep movin’. One day here, next day some place else, gonna stay out in the woods for the most part – as long as I’m a movin’ target, pretty much all over the place, ‘s gonna be hard for ‘em ta track me down. And ‘s probably gonna drive ‘em nuts sooner than me. Ya just have ta keep yer promise and find people and weapons, so …”

         “I did!” Excitedly Rick cut in while he grabbed both of Daryl’s shoulders. “Yesterday, at some junkyard. Tara, Aaron, Rosita, Michonne and me, we were out there looking for Gabriel … He was gone when I got home, along with our weapons and all of the food … Long story. These people, they stole that stuff and kidnapped him, but he led us to them and …”

         “Woah, hold up. Lemme process this. A bunch a' stangers was inside of Alexandria without anyone seein’ or hearin’ a thing, stole our stuff, kidnapped Gabriel, they have all of our weapons now and yer grinnin’ like the Cheshire Cat ‘bout that? Yer nuts, man? Was there somethin’ toxic in that junkyard or what?”

Rick cast him a surprised look and for a second there considered that Daryl might be on to something. The way those Scavengers moved, talked and did their hair ... Yes, living in a junkyard may have been detrimental to a person’s health, but that wasn’t the point. 

         “That’s not the point, Daryl. They are weird, yes, and I’m aware that we have a security issue in Alexandria. I’m working on that. But these people – they’ve got weapons, and not just ours, and they are many. We’ve made a deal – they’ll get more weapons and food from us and then they gonna fight on our side. Not sure that’s enough manpower yet, but it’s a start. If _they_ are there, there’s other communities, other groups for sure. We just gotta find them. Found the Scavengers the same day we started searching and we gonna keep looking.”

His voice grew more and more excited. 

         “We’re gonna do this, Daryl. We’re gonna win. There are others for sure, so I need you to just hang in there a little while longer.”

He still had his hands on Daryl’s shoulders, unable to break the contact, and gave them another hearty squeeze.

         “I’m gonna send more teams out. Aaron and Tara will go east, I’ll send Rosita and some of the Alexandrians up north and Michonne and I are gonna head west. Promise you, we’ll find more.”

Daryl looked him calmly in the eyes.

         “You and Michonne, huh? She’s hangin’ out with ya a lot lately – there somethin’ ya wanna tell me?” 

He displayed a perfect deadpan while he spoke, but Rick saw a teasing sparkle in the blue depths and suppressed a grin.

         “Can you blame her for trying?”

         “Didn’t ask if _she_ had somethin’ ta tell me.”

         “Daryl, you’re not seriously asking me this, are you? Michonne and I, we’re friends, we’re close, Carl loves her … I love her, too, yes, but not like that. She’s like … you know, like a sister. The two of us, we’re like you and Carol – friends without benefits. No more. Whatever goes beyond a hug that’s either in her fantasies …”, he leaned in till their faces were real close and whispered in the archer’s ear, “or all yours.”

Daryl’s answer was one of his usual grunts, but it had a grin spread over Rick’s face. There wasn’t just one kind of grunt. They came in many variations, distinguishable only to the trained ear, and this one just now clearly carried approval and even the hint of a smile. 

         “Ta be on the safe side, remind her that I ‘s able ta sneak up on people totally soundless and carry a silent weapon.”

Rick broke out laughing. 

         “I’ll tell her.” He placed a quick kiss on Daryl’s cheek and then hugged him close. 

They stood like that for a moment, indulging in the other one’s closeness and blinding out the world around them.

         “What about the ‘no mushy scenes in public’ rule?” Rick whispered to the archer.

         “Screw that. Don’t give a damn right now. ‘sides, what’s mushy ‘bout a hug?” 

The younger man didn’t reply to that. He just savored the feeling of the familiar body pressed firmly against him while he dreaded the many days – and nights – to come that Daryl would not be with him. He swallowed hard against a sudden lump in his throat.

         “So you’re gonna head back out there today? Or tomorrow?”

         “Haven’t decided yet. Gonna play it by ear.”

         “If the Saviors can’t find you – and I’ll pray they won’t – then neither can I.”

         “Yeah, despite all I’ve taught ya, ya still can’t track for shit, man. ‘s embarrassing.”

A smile tugged on the corners of Rick’s mouth, but it never made it to his eyes.

         “How can I get in touch when I need to see you? How will I know if you’re alright? How will I find you?”

         “I’ll find you.”

Daryl felt Rick tense up.

         “Don’t come to Alexandria. They may be waiting for you there. It’s too dangerous.”

         “I know. But yer not gonna stay there all the time. Soon as yer on a run or searching for more people, look over yer shoulder once in a while.” 

Rick sighed deeply and dug his nose into Daryl’s hair for a moment.

         “I’ll miss you.”

         “Ya said it ain’t gonna be for long. Uhm, by the way – this _is_ mushy right now.” 

With a soft laugh the leader pulled back, suddenly aware that there were several people watching them out of the corners of their eyes or casting them curious looks openly. 

         “Looks like we’re the highlight of their day”, Rick muttered with a frown, before turning around to the onlookers, snapping:

         “What?!”

Despite the situation being somewhat awkward for a shy person like him, Daryl had to suppress a smirk.

         “If ya keep that up, they gonna think ‘s the only word ya know, man. C’mom, let’s go some place more private.” 

Somehow Rick had hoped Daryl was referring to the room in the Barrington House that Jesus had allotted to him for the time of his stay, but the archer led him to a spot between the fence and the building. Rick saw the two graves instantly.  
For a moment they stood shoulder to shoulder in front of them, each lost in thoughts, then Rick said cautiously:

         “You talked to Maggie, didn’t you?”

In response the archer just gave a curt nod. 

         “You wanna talk about it?”

This time Daryl shook his head before he added hesitatingly:

         “We’re good. She said she ain’t blamin’ me.”

         “I knew she wouldn’t. It wasn’t your fault.”

Once more his lover just grunted in reply, that one actually hard to read even for Rick, before he said in a choked voice:

         “She had me promise I was gonna try ta forgive maself. Ain’t gonna be easy, but … guess I gotta. A promise‘s a promise, right?” 

Rick cast him a smile.

         “That’s what you keep telling Carl and Judith anyway.”

         “Mean it, too.’s important ta keep yer promises or people ain’t gonna trust ya no more. Kids first of all. ‘s gonna take time, but maybe ‘m gonna get the chance ta … ya know, make it up ta Maggie. Somehow. Keep _her_ safe and the baby. Be there for ‘em best as I can in Glenn’s stead. And if I don’t mess up again, then … then maybe some day I can forgive maself.”

Wordlessly the younger man slipped his hand into Daryl’s and held on, not caring in the least if anyone saw them or if this was considered another of the tabooed mushy scenes. The archer didn’t pull back, on the contrary, he increased the pressure on the other man’s fingers as though he was holding on to a lifeline.  

A while later they were both sitting indian style before the graves of their two friends, leaning with their backs against each other for support and Rick had even slipped down a little further to rest the back of his head on Daryl’s shoulder.   
It was quiet and peaceful in this part of the town, hardly anyone ever came here. A couple of barrels were stacked in a carport nearby, but they hadn’t even checked what was in them. Whatever it was apparently wasn’t needed right now, because no one disturbed their privacy. 

Rick wanted this peace to last, wanted to just keep sitting here with Daryl close by and forget about the rest of the world, at least for a while. But the fear, the worries, the heavy weight of their problems weighing down on his soul wouldn’t leave him alone. So with a sigh he said unexpectedly:

         “Did you let them know here that the Saviors are looking for you?”

For a moment Daryl just sat motionless behind him, but Rick felt him pull in several deep breaths before he replied:

         “Maggie knows, and Sasha and Jesus. Not sure they’ve told Enid. And Gregory … pff, man, he’s so full a’ shit there ain’t no room ta fill him in with anythin’ else.”

Despite the serious situation Rick couldn’t help grinning about the remark, before he sobered up again.

         “He’d probably kick you out right away the moment he realizes that you being here means danger for _him_ , too. He’s such a fucking coward.”

He brushed his fingers gently against Daryl’s.

         “Reminds me … Did you try to talk to Ezekiel again?” 

This time Daryl’s answer was a derisive snort. 

         “Nah. Waste a’ time. What about you?”

         “Nope. Didn’t make it further than the gate when I ran into Morgan and Richard.”

         “Don’t get me started. ‘for I left I told Morgan we needed the Kingdom, asked him ta try ‘n’ convince Ezekiel, but got the same shitty answer as always. Guy sounds like a broken record with his _‘all life is precious’_ crap.”

         “He used to be different. Right after the outbreak … he saved me, helped me. He still had … hope. That was before he lost his son. When I met him next he had snapped, was losing it – pretty much like me after Lori died, but he didn’t have anyone to help him through it at the time, no one to get him back on track. Didn’t have someone like you.”

Rick craned his neck and looked at his partner.

         “Did I ever thank you for what you did for me back then?”

         “More than once, Rick.” Daryl lifted his hand and ran it gently over the head that was rested on his shoulder.

With a smile on his lips the younger man picked up again.

         “I don’t know what happened to him after that. There must have been someone who helped him through it, but … “

         “Yeah, Gandhi obviously. No offense. That dude was great, but he never saw a zombie apocalypse. Way I see it, Morgan’s silly stick would only be useful if he made some decent s’mores with it. Other than that the guy’s as helpful as a snow shovel in August. Same as Ezekiel. ‘s why I left.”

Rick nodded with a stern expression.

         “That wasn’t the only reason, right? Richard told me about Carol. And the plan he tried to talk you into.”

He felt the archer tense up behind him, his anger almost palpable.

         “Yeah? What did ya say?”

         “Pretty much the same you did.”

         “Pff, didn’t really _say_ all that much. Gave him a sound knock upside the head instead.”

         “Like I said – pretty much the same you did.”

Daryl sat up, which had Rick almost fall over backwards, and look over his shoulder at his partner.

         “Ya hit him, too?” he said surprised, the ghost of a smile on his face.

         “Had that coming. We need the Kingdom, fact, but not at any cost. We’re not gonna sell our souls to get this war started.”

Daryl leaned in and pecked his man’s lips in the next second.

          “Luv ya, man.“

It was said casually, the way someone would say these words to a close friend, a brother – like Shane had said them to Rick a long time ago, when they were still close, still friends. Before Shane had wanted him dead.   
But despite the casual inflection Daryl had a sincerity in his eyes that Shane had never had. It showed Rick crystal clear that Daryl meant exactly what he was saying, no less, and the relevation had his heart skip a beat.   
They had taken their friendship that step further only two days ago and Rick hadn’t expected for those words to be spoken out loud so quickly. And he had figured it’d be  him saying them first, since talking about emotions was alien to his partner, something he didn’t feel comfortable with. There wasn’t really the need for words – over the years they had shown each other through looks and gestures countless times what they meant to each other – but Daryl feeling this strongly for him now that he felt the need to _tell_ him, gave those words twice as much importance. 

Rick turned around till he was seated close in front of Daryl and lifted a hand to tenderly pushed a strand of the long bangs out of the archer’s face. Then he cupped his cheek and leaned in to kiss him gently on the mouth, his heartbeat picking up when Daryl responded instantly. They wrapped their arms around each other when the kiss was deeped, their tongues engaged in a sentual dance and hands roaming over the other man’s body.  

         “Luv ya, too, man”, Rick whispered to his lover, deliberately copying Daryl’s words down to the archer’s inflection and speech pattern. 

Not to tease, but to show him that, although these precious words had been spoken casually, he understood the sincerity and devotion behind them and that he felt exactly the same.

They just held each other for a while, savoring in the other’s closeness and trying to memorize the moment with every fibre of their being. 

With a heavy heart Rick pulled back first and, after breathing in deep, said softly:

          “I gotta go. They’re waiting for me in Alexandria. We still need to find weapons, food, more people …”

         “I know”, Daryl cut in. “’m gonna see if I can train ‘em greenhorns here how ta shoot a crossbow or a bow and arrows if they have ‘em. Not sure ‘m gonna stay the night though. Guess I’ll just start ‘em off and then head out into the woods, come back in a few days. Will see. Need ta stay in motion from now on.”

With a sigh Rick leaned forward and pressed his forehead to Daryl’s.

         “We’ll hurry, I promise. I’m gonna send everyone out I can spare in Alexandria to look for what we need. Hang in there.” He sighed again. “I’m really gonna miss you.” 

         “Don’t forget ta look over yer shoulder.”

         “Don’t wanna have to look over my shoulder anymore. I want you to be right there by my side, like … always.” Almost inaudibly he added: “Forever.”

He pulled back and looked deep into the archer’s eyes.

         “When this is over, do you think you could maybe … you know, want that, too?”

For a long moment Daryl didn’t answer, just gave Rick the kind of look that reached all the way down into the younger man’s soul. Finally he answered with a barely visible nod:

         “Been wantin’ that for the past three years.”

         “Is that a ‘yes’?”

Instead of an answer, Daryl cast him a thoughtful look for a moment before he said:

         “I ‘s never a guy ta say ‘yes’ easily. Was always afraid ta promise things I couldn’t keep, afraid ta disappoint if I couldn’t live up ta people’s expectations, afraid ta get involved without really knowin’ what I ‘s gettin’ maself into. But I guess I just got it.”

         “Got what?”

         “That the answer was never the problem. ‘s just that no one ever asked the right question. And it needs ta be the right person askin’ it, too.” 

A smile was tugging at the corners of Rick’s mouth.

         “So, was this the right question coming from the right person?”

         “Hell, yeah.” 

Daryl leaned forward unexpectedly and kissed Rick so ardently that the younger man fell over backwards and pulled him along, having them end up lying in a heap of entangled legs and arms, still kissing.    
The archer froze suddenly and when Rick opened his eyes in surprise he saw Daryl stare at the branch that was substituting Glenn’s headstone. They’d been making out almost right between the graves of their two friends.     
Sobering up instantly they jumped to their feet, dusted themselves down and then stood sheepishly next to each other. It was quiet for moment, then simultaneously they started to chuckle. 

         “Were you waiting for a wolf whistle from Abraham, too?” Rick asked with a smirk.

         “Yeah. Could almost hear it. And I guess Glenn woulda been smilin’.” His voice sounded choked when he added: “Know he is.” 

Rick slipped his hand wordlessly into Daryl’s once more, interlaced his fingers with the archer’s and gave them a gentle squeeze. Silently they stood next to each other, saying a prayer for the friends they lost as well as those that were still with them, especially the man right by their side. 

         “I gotta go now”, Rick repeated his earlier words, before he pulled Daryl into another tight embrace. 

Then he let go and took a step back. 

         “Sorry, Daryl. Seems like I keep leaving you lately.”

         “Yer not. There’s a difference between leavin’ and walkin’ away.” They held each other’s gaze for a moment.   
         “Be careful.”

         “You, too.” 

         “Tell the others I said Hi and … give Judy a kiss from me.”

A smile spread over Rick’s face despite his heavy heart. 

         “Will do.”

With a farewell nod Rick turned around and reluctantly started walking away in order to head back to Alexandria. He hadn’t managed to put more than five yards between him and Daryl, when the archer’s deep voice behind him had him turn back around.

         “Hey Rick.”

         “Huh?”

         “Just wonderin’ – yer someone who likes sayin’ ‘Yes’ ta questions?” 

The leader lifted an eyebrow and cast his partner a surprised glance.

         “Depends, but …” He shrugged. “I guess. Why?”  
          
         “Got one for ya.”

Another smile spread over Rick’s face and expectantly he looked into Daryl’s blue eyes.

         “Yeah? I’m curious now, so shoot.”

         “Can we have a pet tiger in Alexandria, too?” 

 

\- The end -

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading and I'd love to hear your thoughts!


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